FAQs

  1. I’m thinking about divorce, what should I do?
  2. Do I have to go to court to obtain a divorce?
  3. Why is it said that a Collaborative Divorce is “private”?
  4. Why is it said that in a Collaborative Divorce, the clients make the decisions?
  5. What is the difference between Collaborative Divorce and mediation?
  6. What’s the difference between a Collaborative Divorce and a divorce with an attorney who works collaboratively?
  7. How do I choose which process is best for me?
  8. How do I get started?
  9. We don’t want to get divorced, but marriage counseling hasn’t worked?
  10. What if one of us doesn’t want a divorce?
  11. Will there be alimony? How much will child support be? Who gets the house? What about the retirement assets?

  1. I’m thinking about divorce but not sure, what should I do?
    If you are considering a divorce in Massachusetts, learn about your choices and options. Schedule an initial consultation with my office. Our first divorce consultation meeting will probably take 1 to 1.5 hours. You will share important information about your situation, I can provide you with information and advice, as necessary, and we can discuss your options.

  2. Do I have to go to court to obtain a divorce?
    You and your spouse can choose to resolve all of your divorce-related issues before you go to court to obtain the judge’s approval of your agreement. You don’t need a traditional divorce. In Massachusetts, you can resolve these issues through either Collaborative Law, divorce mediation or settlement discussions.

    You can reduce your need to go to court from possibly many times to just one, non-adversarial court appearance if you choose a Collaborative Divorce with an experienced Collaborative divorce attorney.

  3. Why is it said that a Collaborative Divorce is “private”?
    When you share information and ideas in a Collaborative Law meeting, you can feel safe that there will not be a transcript or public record of the meeting.

    In a litigated case, when you file a motion, an affidavit or other pleading generally each of these is a public records. This means that your neighbor, a future employer or an adult child, can review the divorce file. The privacy of the Collaborative Divorce Process protects your dignity and result in more open and honest communications.

  4. Why is it said that in a Collaborative Divorce, the clients make the decisions?
    You set the pace, you share relevant information and you make the ultimate important decisions. You do this with the guidance and support of your Collaborative attorney.

    The courts attempt to complete a Massachusetts divorce case within 14 months from the date of filing a Complaint for Divorce. If you can’t settle, the judge makes the decisions for you concerning all divorce-related decisions.

  5. What is the difference between Collaborative Divorce and mediation?
    In a Collaborative Divorce, your lawyer is with you when you make all of the important decisions about your divorce. In divorce mediation you and your spouse meet with a neutral mediator to resolve your divorce. Although, your lawyer is not in the mediation session with you, you can schedule a meeting with your lawyer for another day before or after the mediation.

    In a Collaborative Divorce, your lawyers have specialized training in collaborative law and you and the professionals enter into a signed agreement to work towards an out-of-court settlement. This creates a safe container for negotiations, when you know that the lawyers will not litigate. In mediation, your lawyers can provide representation for mediation and if the process breaks, your lawyer can litigate.

    These are some of the many differences between collaborative law and mediation. There are many similarities. For example, both the Collaborative divorce and mediation processes are voluntary and you work towards a complete out-of-court settlement. The discussions in both processes are private and in both processes you work towards meeting your needs and interests rather than getting invested in positions.

  6. What’s the difference between a Collaborative Divorce and a divorce with an attorney who works collaboratively?
    A Collaborative Divorce involves several protections including: (1) Working with Collaborative divorce attorneys who have obtained special training in Collaborative Law (2) Assurance that clearly defined Collaborative Law procedures will be followed and (3) A signed agreement to be completely settlement focused which means that your spouse’s attorney will never summon you to a deposition and will never cross exam you at a trial.

    When an attorney says she works “collaboratively” even though she is not trained in Collaborative Law, it may mean that her approach is to attempt to reach a settlement. However, without a signed Collaborative Divorce Agreement from a lawyer trained in Collaborative Law, you negotiate without the various protections and methods to promote settlement which would be otherwise available.

  7. How do I choose which process is best for me?
    This is a personal decision. There are a lot of factors that go into selecting the right process for you, whether it be Collaborative Divorce or divorce mediation. I can help you make an informed decision.

    During our first meeting, I will ask questions which will help determine the benefits and potential risks in each process to your particular situation. The choice will be yours – after you have the information you need.

  8. How do I get started?
    Take it one step at a time. Schedule a meeting. During the meeting we can develop your next steps. I understand that just thinking about hiring a divorce attorney can feel overwhelming. With some information, however, most clients usually develop an approach to divorce and feel more in control.

  9. We don’t want to get divorced, but marriage counseling hasn’t worked?
    Marriage counseling is an important resource which helps many couples stay together. However, it doesn’t help everyone. If you still want to try to stay married, you can try mediation to stay married or collaborative law to stay married. It’s different than marriage counseling in several ways. You can have discussions and reach agreements on the issues which are getting you stuck. If you want an enforceable contract, you can negotiate a post-nuptial agreement. The focus is on future agreements and behavior and not to try to work on past issues.

  10. What if one of us doesn’t want a divorce?
    If one person wants a divorce, even if the other doesn’t – the divorce will occur. However, you still have a choice. You and your spouse can reach an agreement on “how” to divorce, even if you can’t agree on “whether” to divorce.

  11. Will there be alimony? How much will child support be? Who gets the house? What about the retirement assets?
    These are some common questions. In most divorces, there are many issues which need to be resolved and it is important to understand that the issues interrelate. Therefore, it is important not to get stuck on how to resolve one issue before we understand the whole picture. An important part of the picture involves your goals and how to structure an agreement to meet your goals, as best as possible.